Do You Find Yourself Reacting or Responding to Life?

| January 29, 2014 | Comments (0)

When a situation appears in your environment that is counter to what you want it to be, what do you do? Do you get annoyed? frustrated? angry? worried? scared? Do you go on the attack or get defensive? Or do you simply accept what’s in front of you.

You are the Point of Power in Your Life

The power and potential in you is always seeking to be expressed and released. Nothing can stop it, but you can direct this energy and use it well. You can respond instead of react… it’s a choice, although it may not seem like it. Let me explain…

We have been trained in an outside/in world and believe that we are victims of what’s happening “out there”. Even the “out there” that activates our emotions is a reaction to external conditions… But take another look… It’s all being generated from within us. With this understanding, we have a firm foundation to cultivate the inner conditions that will allow our power and our greater potential to emerge.

When you react to something in your environment, an incident or event, or something someone said or did, it’s due to a belief you created by the meaning that you gave to it. Somewhere in your past a situation that is reminiscent of the one in front of you occurred. After several repetitions of this situation, and your emotional reaction to it, you unconsciously choose it as your default mechanism.

When you come into agreement with these negative thoughts, adapt to them, and match their energy, you will navigate and negotiate the circumstance. This may sound like the best thing to do, but look closer. When you react, you remain at the same energetic level, living the same story over and over again. You really do have a choice… You can choose to respond instead.

When you respond you accept what is and allow it to be. Your mind is clear and certain about what you prefer to have in your life, and you open to creating more of it. Responding comes from an in-charge place within us that is grounded in the here and now and not past programming that had you stuck in resistance. You can get more of what you want accomplished coming from this place.

When you respond from what you want out of the situation and hold that space, on the other side of it your life is expanded. If you adapt to the situation, then you constrict your energy and somehow lose on the other side of it.

Characteristics of a Reaction

Fight or flight Reflexive Reaction as it seems your without Choice

Emotions take over

Victim Mindset

Avoidance of Taking Responsibility

Defensive and Disadvantaged

Characteristics of a Response

You See What IS and Choose a Creative Response

You Have Boundaries

You are Accountable for Your Thoughts, Words, Emotions, Actions

You Take Responsibility for Your Life

Cooperative and Collaborative

You Have Choice

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
~ Victor Frankl

If you look at how life really works, you see that everything just is. When you see life from this neutral position, you can accept the situation at hand and you have choice. You can choose to respond instead of react. The way to do that is to put distance/space between you and the event. Here are some suggestions:
• Start your day peacefully and you will experience peace throughout the day. If you scramble out of bed it sets the tone for fight/flight reactivity mode for the day… How you start your day is how you live your day.
• Slow down. Pause before you speak. Breathing always gives distance. Consciously take a breath.
• Be compassionate to the other person. Put yourself in the other’s shoes and see the situation from the other’s perspective.
• Let it go, address the issue or situation from a neutral position and then let it go.

When you respond you expand the possibilities of the outcome and direct them towards what you want to create out of the situation. Making this choice is your point of power.
• Consider the person you’d like to be.
• Understand what beliefs are causing your reactions and step back and look at what interpretations you made of events that caused the beliefs. See that you gave meaning to events and that they are not ‘the truth’.
• Intend to respond to situations aligned with the person you envision yourself as, and hold that image, rather than holding onto old outmoded beliefs.

Responding is accepting responsibility for your thoughts and taking charge of your life. You are never responsible for what someone else says or does, but you are very much responsible for what you think about what someone else said or did and whether you respond or react.

©2014 Patricia Rubino

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Category: Conscious Co-Creation

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